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    Lean on Me: Why People with a Mental Health Crisis Need a Support Network

    October 26, 2020

    Human beings have a need for social connection. It stems from our ancestors needing to stick together to stay alive. Back in the day, those individuals who strayed from the group had a harder time surviving the elements and not starving to death. While it is far safer to be an individual these days, that […]

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    Lean on Me: Why People with a Mental Health Crisis Need a Support Network

    Human beings have a need for social connection. It stems from our ancestors needing to stick together to stay alive. Back in the day, those individuals who strayed from the group had a harder time surviving the elements and not starving to death.

    While it is far safer to be an individual these days, that doesn’t mean it is healthy for us to be isolated, for isolation undoubtedly threatens a person’s mental well-being.

    It is for this very reason that people suffering from depression and other mental health issues need the love and encouragement from a support network

    Social Connection: A Vital Part of Depression Recovery

    When a person suffers from depression, they live with a constant pit of despair at their side. Every moment hurts and the truth about life remains elusive.

    When we feel these dark feelings, there is a natural tendency to retreat and isolate ourselves. But this only makes the dark darker.

    Recovery from depression is a complex process but you don’t need to go it alone. By surrounding yourself with friends and loved ones, you can continue to feel genuine connections, and each one of those connections is a light that can pierce through the darkness.

    Research suggests there is a definite link between social relationships and many different aspects of a person’s mental health and wellness. It is for this reason that mental health professionals often discuss the importance of having a strong social network.

    Get Yourself Social Support

    Social support comes in many different forms. Sometimes you might need help with daily tasks if you are struggling with depression. Sometimes you may need an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on, and sometimes you may need some sound advice.

    Whatever you may be going through and whatever kind of help you need, here are some ways you can build a support network of people that love and care about you.

    1. Create a List

    Make a shortlist of friends and family members who have shown their love, kindness, and support in the past.

    2. Make a Commitment

    Commit to reaching out to someone on your list every week (if not more). You can do this through a phone call, text, email, or in person.

    3. Be Honest

    The people that love you can only help and support you if you are honest with them. When you reach out, share what is on your mind and heart. Talk openly about any struggles you are dealing with and be sure to be open to any fresh perspective or advice.

    4. Get Out – When Possible

    With COVID still affecting our lives, it’s not always easy to get out and be social in person but doing so is remarkably helpful and healing for our mental health. Phone calls and emails work in a pinch, but nothing beats spending time with loved ones in person.

    It’s also important to mention that sometimes we need a bit more help than our loved ones can give. If, after forming your support network, you feel that you need additional help, it’s vital you reach out to a mental health specialist. He or she can give you tools and strategies that will help you recover from depression.

    If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

     

    SOURCES:

    • https://psychcentral.com/lib/social-support-is-critical-for-depression-recovery/
    • https://www.mhanational.org/stay-connected
    • https://www.verywellmind.com/social-support-for-psychological-health-4119970

    Filed Under: General

    How to Manage Stress and Anxiety with Deep Breathing

    September 14, 2020

    Have you found yourself experiencing high levels of stress? Feeling more anxious or overwhelmed? Deep breathing is an essential coping skill in managing difficult emotions. This strategy may be used in moments of high levels of stress and anxiety and incorporated into your daily routine to maintain emotional well being. While you take countless breaths […]

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    How to Manage Stress and Anxiety with Deep Breathing

    Have you found yourself experiencing high levels of stress? Feeling more anxious or overwhelmed? Deep breathing is an essential coping skill in managing difficult emotions. This strategy may be used in moments of high levels of stress and anxiety and incorporated into your daily routine to maintain emotional well being. While you take countless breaths throughout the day, the practice of deep breathing allows us to refocus your attention to the present and relieve both emotional and physical effects of increased stress and anxiety.

    Benefits of Deep Breathing

    In times of high levels of stress and anxiety, your “fight or flight” response is triggered. This response is initially activated to protect yourself from a perceived danger or threat. At times, when you are experiencing stress and anxiety the threat may not be imminent and/or something you are able to immediately or physically respond to. When you are in a state of “fight or flight” it is common to experience increased heart rate, shaking, muscle tension, and shallow breathing. Deep breathing can be used to reduce these effects. There are multiple additional physical and mental health benefits to the practice of deep breathing, including:

    • Increased relaxation
    • Increased awareness of the present moment
    • Decreased muscle tension
    • Decreased blood pressure
    • Improved ability to manage effects of anxiety, depression, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
      (PTSD)

    Follow this link for additional information regarding the benefits of deep breathing: Take a Deep Breath

    5 Steps to Practice Deep Breathing

    A key component of deep breathing is to maintain your focus on the timing and placement of your breath. Deep breathing, commonly referred to as diaphragmatic breathing, encourages you to focus your breath in your stomach/diaphragm area. It is common in times of stress and anxiety to experience shallow breathing from your chest area. You may notice yourself breathing in this manner throughout the day. The intentional transfer of your breath from your chest to your diaphragm allows for deeper breathing and increased relaxation. The following are steps to practice deep breathing effectively:

    1. Find a comfortable setting and/or position that will allow you to focus on your breath
    2. Place your hand on your diaphragm/stomach area
    3. Breath in through your nose for a count of 4, focusing you breath in the stomach area
    4. Hold your breath for a count of 4
    5. Breath out through your mouth for a count of 6

    Helpful Hints for Deep Breathing

    • If you find yourself having trouble exhaling at a slow pace you can purse your lips as you breath out, similar to when you are blowing up a balloon or if you were to breath out through straw
    • The practice of deep breathing may initially feel difficult, especially attempting to refocus your attention to your breath while experiencing stress and anxiety. If you find your mind starting to wander, you may gently redirect your thoughts and attention to the count of your breath and the rising and falling of your stomach with each breath.
    • Schedule a time to practice this technique. Incorporating deep breathing into your routine can help manage daily stress and improve overall relaxation. Routine practice of deep breathing can improve your ability to use this technique with confidence and skill.

    Deep breathing can be used along with many different coping strategies to manage stress and anxiety. Speaking with a mental health professional can help you develop additional tools to help you manage these difficult emotions. If you, or a loved one, feel they are in need of additional support to manage stress and anxiety contact Hope Avenue Counseling Services. Schedule your free 15 minute phone consultation to discuss how we can help.

    By Chelsea Vance

    Filed Under: Uncategorized

    Do I Have PTSD? Recognizing the Signs

    June 4, 2020

    As shocking instances of mass shootings continue to occur all over the United States, we often hear people talk about Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. Frequently associated with post-war veterans and victims of mass violence, PTSD is a psychiatric disorder that can develop in people who’ve experienced or witnessed a traumatic or life-threatening event. However, […]

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    Do I Have PTSD? Recognizing the Signs

    As shocking instances of mass shootings continue to occur all over the United States, we often hear people talk about Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. Frequently associated with post-war veterans and victims of mass violence, PTSD is a psychiatric disorder that can develop in people who’ve experienced or witnessed a traumatic or life-threatening event.

    However, there are many other instances of trauma that can cause someone to develop PTSD besides combat or witnessing a terrorist attack. Anyone of any age that has experienced a violent or sexual assault, a natural disaster, a car accident or any other shocking or dangerous event is at risk of developing PTSD. If you’re concerned you or a loved one may be suffering from PTSD, here are some signs to look out for.

    Reliving the Event

    Someone with PTSD will have involuntary re-experiences of the trauma through nightmares, flashbacks, triggers, and unwanted thoughts or memories. Sounds or smells may take them back to the traumatic experience, or they may develop physical ailments when they’re reminded of or remember the event.

    Symptoms of Arousal and Reactivity

    PTSD sufferers will frequently feel on edge, unsafe or be easily startled. They may be prone to anger, agitation, or sadness. It’s also common for victims of PTSD to have trouble sleeping or concentrating, and they may develop changes in their eating habits by either eating too much or too little.

    Avoidance Behavior

    An individual suffering from PTSD may begin to avoid the area where they experienced the event, or areas that remind them of what happened. They may also avoid people, events or objects that bring negative memories forward. It’s also common for people with PTSD to avoid talking about the situation, or avoiding feelings related to the event.

    Negative Thoughts and Feelings

    Feelings of shame, self-blame, and exaggerated negative beliefs are common in people with PTSD. They may lose interest in things they once enjoyed, and isolate themselves from friends and loved ones. It’s also not uncommon for people with PTSD to entirely lose trust in people, or to believe that the world is a dangerous place.

     

    After experiencing a traumatic event, it’s natural for someone to have any of the symptoms listed above. However, for people suffering from PTSD, the symptoms persist for weeks, months, or even longer and begin to affect their ability to function.

    If you’re worried you might be suffering from Posttraumatic Stress Disorder and need the help of a licensed professional, please call my office today and let’s set up an appointment to talk.

    Filed Under: Trauma / PTSD

    Is it Safe to Go Back to In-Person Therapy Sessions?

    May 27, 2020

    Just a few short months ago, none of us could have imagined how our lives would change at the onset of the Corona Virus. Now, several months into a global pandemic and resulting global quarantine, the world is slowly starting to open back up. But a lot of people wonder how long it will take […]

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    Is it Safe to Go Back to In-Person Therapy Sessions?

    Just a few short months ago, none of us could have imagined how our lives would change at the onset of the Corona Virus. Now, several months into a global pandemic and resulting global quarantine, the world is slowly starting to open back up.

    But a lot of people wonder how long it will take before things fully return to normal. And many now wonder if it’s safe to go back into therapy?

    This is an interesting question and dilemma, because now more than ever, people need to be able to get the help they need to cope with the stress and loneliness of quarantine and the economic shutdown.

    Speak to Your Therapist About Other Options

    Just as every city, state, and nation are opening back up at their own pace, individual business owners and practice owners will also decide when and how they will open back up. If you were actively working with a therapist before the pandemic, you more than likely continued to work with them either via phone or online chat.

    But admittedly, while these helped people get the help they need during the crisis, many clients and counselors are itching to get back to face-to-face therapy sessions. But is it safe yet to do so? When and how should counselors start seeing clients face-to-face?

    To answer these questions, counselors and their clients will have to make some considerations:

    What are the Risks?

    Both the clients’ health and the therapist’s health must be taken into consideration. Is anyone at a higher risk for COVID-19? Does the office space allow for sessions that adhere to the CDC’s safety guidelines? Are you and clients comfortable wearing masks during a session and/or is there enough space to remain 6 feet apart?

    State Guidelines

    Another piece to the safety puzzle is your own state’s guidelines. What are those recommendations regarding residents leaving home? Are you in a COVID-19 hotspot?

    While telehealth has been a blessing for many, for others there have been technical difficulties, wi-fi lag times, and difficulty finding a private space in their home to hold a session. If you prefer a face-to-face session with your therapist, speak with him or her about their protocols moving forward.

    Share any concerns you may have and feel free to ask questions. Right now we all need to communicate with each other and be as transparent as we can be. Doing so, as well as weighing the risks, will help life get back to normal for everyone as safe as possible.

     

    SOURCES:

    • https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/new-beginning/202005/counseling-after-covid-19-what-should-providers-do
    • https://psychcentral.com/blog/its-probably-time-to-switch-to-telehealth-with-your-therapist/
    • https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/demystifying-talk-therapy/202003/prescribed-isolation-will-insurance-cover-tele-therapy

    Filed Under: General, Telehealth

    3 Steps to Self-Compassion

    April 29, 2020

    “God, you can be so stupid sometimes.” “Why would he be attracted to YOU?” “You’re just going to screw this up.” These are things you would probably never say to another human being unless you’re a real jerk. But how many of us have that inner critic that says these kinds of things all the […]

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    3 Steps to Self-Compassion

    “God, you can be so stupid sometimes.”

    “Why would he be attracted to YOU?”

    “You’re just going to screw this up.”

    These are things you would probably never say to another human being unless you’re a real jerk. But how many of us have that inner critic that says these kinds of things all the time.

    Most of us treat ourselves far more harshly than we would anyone else. And that’s a shame. In my experience, so much of the depression and anxiety my clients feel stems from a dysfunctional relationship they have with themselves.

    But every day is a chance for you to develop a loving relationship with yourself. And the best way to do that is to practice self-compassion.

    If that concept seems foreign to you or you are even uncomfortable with the idea of showing yourself compassion, then please keep reading to learn some simple but profound ways you can begin to practice self-compassion as a way to connect lovingly with yourself.

    1. Become More Mindful of Your Feelings

    Self-compassion is the pathway to emotional healing. But to begin, you must become more aware of your own emotions, especially as they relate to yourself.

    Try to be more aware of when you are emotionally struggling with something. Perhaps you are feeling confused, desperate, or inadequate. Ordinarily, in these moments your inner critic may strike. But now, try and offer yourself kindness instead.

    You may say something to yourself life, “I know you’re disappointed. And I also know you did your best. And I am so proud of you.”

    If you are at a loss for the right words in these moments, simply talk to yourself as you would a friend, or better yet, a small child.

    2. Monitor Yourself

    Until you become used to being compassionate toward yourself, you’ll want to monitor the language you use. You are most likely so used to criticizing yourself that it will be far too easy for the wrong choice of words to come out. That’s okay. In these moments you certainly don’t want to scold yourself. Just be aware and make a compassionate correction.

    3. Get Physical

    There’s a phrase that says, “get out of your head and drop into your body.” This is a perfect way to begin the ritual of self-compassion.

    Begin to use kind physical gestures with yourself. This could be gently stroking your cheeks and temples when you’re stressed, holding your hand over your heart when you’re sad, or holding your own hand when you feel lonely. Any physical gesture, so long as it’s loving, will help you show yourself true love and kindness in those moments.

    For some people who have very low self-esteem, showing themselves compassion may prove to be incredibly difficult. In these cases, it’s a good idea to speak with a therapist who can help them uncover where the feelings stem from and how they can change their thoughts and behavior.

    If you are interested in exploring treatment options, please get in touch with me. I would be happy to see how I may be able to help.

    Filed Under: Self-Esteem, Women's Issues

    How to Cope with the Stress and Anxiety Caused by COVID-19

    April 8, 2020

    If you’re like most people, you are doing your best to stay calm during COVID-19 pandemic. But that can feel incredibly difficult at times. When not worrying about friends and loved one’s health, there’s also the conflicting information provided by the media and the economic ramifications of the virus that have people on edge. Signs […]

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    How to Cope with the Stress and Anxiety Caused by COVID-19

    If you’re like most people, you are doing your best to stay calm during COVID-19 pandemic. But that can feel incredibly difficult at times. When not worrying about friends and loved one’s health, there’s also the conflicting information provided by the media and the economic ramifications of the virus that have people on edge.

    Signs of Emotional Distress and 6 Ways to Cope

    Everyone reacts differently to stressful situations, but most will exhibit some of the following signs:

    • Changes in sleep or eating patterns
    • Difficulty concentrating
    • Worsening of chronic health problems
    • Increased use of alcohol, tobacco or other drugs

    If you are experiencing significant stress right now, here are some ways you can cope:

    1. Limit Media Consumption

    Hearing the media constantly spread panic isn’t good for anyone. It’s important to stay rational and do your own research to uncover facts from fiction as well as stay positive.

    2. Nurture Your Body and Spirit

    Be sure to get outside for some fresh air and go for a walk. Eat right and make sure to stay hydrated and get plenty of sleep. Avoid consuming too much alcohol and try and find fun ways to reconnect with your family.

    3. Tap into Your Sense of Fun

    If you have kids, look to them for some good old-fashioned playtime. Play hide and seek in the house. Create an obstacle course in the back yard. Watch some of your favorite funny movies. Laughter really is the best medicine so get plenty of it!

    4. Support Your Local Community

    Many local businesses are hurting right now. If you’re still getting a paycheck, consider buying a gift card from a local restaurant, gym, hair salon, etc. to give them revenue now and you can use the card later. This will make you feel great at the same time.

    5. Be a Role Model

    Remember, your kids will ALWAYS look to you first to see how they should be thinking and feeling about something. So move about each day calmly and confidently and reassure your kids everything will be okay because it will be.

    6. Use Your Time Constructively

    For many of us, there is a silver lining in this situation in the form of extra time. What can you do with the extra time that isn’t being used to drive an hour or more each day in commuting? Focus on using this time wisely. Maybe you have an ever-growing list of home projects that you just never have time to tackle. Tackle them now, you’ll feel great about it later.

     

    If you find yourself becoming too stressed or depressed during this time, I encourage you to connect with me. Speaking with a therapist can help you cope with the situation and navigate the days ahead. I am currently able to conduct sessions over the phone or via Skype, so you won’t even have to leave your home if your state is in lockdown.


    SOURCES:

    https://www.ucihealth.org/news/2020/03/covid-19-anxiety

    https://www.health.state.mn.us/communities/ep/behavioral/stress_covid19.pdf

    Filed Under: Anxiety, General

    4 Ways to Change Your Thoughts and Relieve Depression

    March 11, 2020

    Did you know that on most days, the average person has between 25,000 and 50,000 thoughts? That’s an impressive amount of thoughts. But when happens when the majority of these thoughts are negative? Imagine the impact on your psyche and your life if you had thousands and thousands of negative thoughts each day? This amount of negative […]

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    4 Ways to Change Your Thoughts and Relieve Depression

    Did you know that on most days, the average person has between 25,000 and 50,000 thoughts? That’s an impressive amount of thoughts.

    But when happens when the majority of these thoughts are negative? Imagine the impact on your psyche and your life if you had thousands and thousands of negative thoughts each day?

    This amount of negative thinking is a hallmark of depression. Negative or pessimistic thinking is depression speaking for you. It is the voice of depression. What many people don’t realize is that depression is manifested in negative thinking before it ever creates a negative thought itself.

    This is why it is imperative for those suffering from depression to become acutely aware of their thought patterns. If not checked, negative thinking becomes a habit, one that has the potential to completely shape your life.

    Change How You Think

    One of the most powerful ways people can lift themselves out of the darkness of depression is to change their thinking patterns. This is why cognitive therapy is such a profound change agent. The approach is based on the fact that thought-processing errors contribute to a depressed mood.

    By changing how you think, you automatically change how you feel. Once you become aware that changing your thinking is important, you are presented with an active choice you can take to benefit your mental health.

    I know. This sounds about as easy as changing a tire in the rain with nothing more than a hardboiled egg and a paper clip. But it can be done.

    Here are some tips on how you can begin to change your negative thoughts:

    Keep Track of Your Thoughts

    Many people are in denial about their thought patterns. They don’t want to believe they are overly negative or pessimistic. Catching yourself and recording as many negative thoughts as you can will help you to see your own mental patterns.

    What will these thoughts look like? You could write things like, “I hate my feet.” “My boss is an idiot.” “I hate spring.” “I hate getting up this early.” “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

    Be particularly mindful of making sweeping generalizations from one specific event. It’s a type of black and white thinking that can be particularly harmful.

    Identify Triggers

    Once you get an idea for the frequency of your negative thoughts, try and pinpoint the triggers for them. Your journal will also come in handy here, because it will point out certain types of events that set off a chain of negative thoughts. Triggers can include being rejected or ignored, or having an unkind remark said about or to you.

    Positive Conversion

    You have so far learned that the human thinking process is habitual. But the good news is, you can create good thinking habits.

    To do this you’ve got to start converting all of those negative thoughts into positive ones. It will be hard at first, and you will most likely feel as if you’re lying to yourself and pretending to be a glass-half-full Pollyanna.

    But, as they say, “You’ve got to fake it until you make it.” Though thinking positively may feel foreign to you and like a waste of your time, you are re-training your brain to think (and feel) good.

    Every time you have a negative thought, stop, recognize it as negative, and immediately flip the switch and create the positive opposite thought in its place. This could look like:

    Negative thought: “I’ll never get this report done on time.”

    Positive Switch: “I’m making great progress and being careful to always check my work.”

    To get the hang of how to do this, go through your negativity journal and create a separate column in which you will write the positive opposites of your many negative thoughts.

    If you feel too dark and down to complete these exercises, please consider reaching out to a trained therapist who can prescribe medication, should you require it, and help you work through these struggles.

    If you or a loved one are suffering from depression and are interested in exploring treatment options, please contact me. I would be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

    Filed Under: Depression

    Why Did I Feel Fine Yesterday? The Causes of Depression

    March 3, 2020

    With 322 million people suffering with depression worldwide, it’s not surprising to learn that in America, depression is among the most common mental disorders. The cause of depression is often simplified as a chemical imbalance in the brain, but the reality is that the disease is far more complicated. Scientific research has yet to completely […]

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    Why Did I Feel Fine Yesterday? The Causes of Depression

    With 322 million people suffering with depression worldwide, it’s not surprising to learn that in America, depression is among the most common mental disorders. The cause of depression is often simplified as a chemical imbalance in the brain, but the reality is that the disease is far more complicated. Scientific research has yet to completely understand the biology of depression. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, depression is caused by a combination of genetic, biological, environmental and psychological factors.

    What Causes Depression?

    The disease of depression is the complicated combination previously described; this disease gives you the predisposition to fall into a depression after having experienced a negative external event. For example, getting fired from a job might send one person into a deep depression, while another simply bounces back after experiencing the initial sadness and disappointment.

    Many experts in the cognitive behavioral field believe that depression is caused by, and worsens, with distorted negative thinking. The emotions you experience during an episode of depression are created by negative thoughts and perceptions. Your feelings will result from the meaning you attach to those thoughts. If you eliminate distorted, negative thoughts, you will find it easier to cope with the negative event that triggered your depression.

    Why Did I Feel Fine Yesterday?

    If you felt fine yesterday, but today feel depressed and hopeless, distorted thinking may be to blame. As an example, let’s say you woke up late and had to rush to work. This put you in a bad mood, and you started thinking distorted negative thoughts. “I’m always late. I’m a loser. My boss is going to be angry at me all day. He probably hates me anyway. I’m going to get fired.” As the day goes on, every event will be processed through this negative filter, causing you to feel worse.

    Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

    Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a form of psychotherapy that helps you challenge negative patterns of thought. By challenging these thoughts, you can improve your mood. For example, “I’m always late.” This is an overgeneralization. More than likely, you have not been late that often. If this is something you want to change, you can alter your schedule and habits to become more punctual.

    Depression is a complicated illness, and as such is best managed by comprehensive treatment. If you’re suffering from depression, a licensed therapist can help you understand your mood disorder and develop strategies to cope with and improve your symptoms. Together, we can develop a plan for you to create the life you want to live. Give my office a call today, and let’s schedule a time to talk.

    Filed Under: Depression

    3 Reasons You May Be Struggling To Forgive

    February 12, 2020

    Has there ever been a period in your life when you’ve struggled with forgiveness? Perhaps someone has done something harmful or hurtful to you and you just can’t seem to forgive them for it. I’ve been there too. Quite frankly, during my childhood there were many things that I’ve struggled with and needed to overcome.  […]

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    3 Reasons You May Be Struggling To Forgive

    Has there ever been a period in your life when you’ve struggled with forgiveness? Perhaps someone has done something harmful or hurtful to you and you just can’t seem to forgive them for it. I’ve been there too. Quite frankly, during my childhood there were many things that I’ve struggled with and needed to overcome. 

    None of my childhood challenges were more difficult to overcome than learning to forgive others. Like most of you, I have come to learn that my belief system about forgiveness was filled with tons of misunderstandings. 

    There were a number of reasons for my lack of understanding and I’m pretty sure the same might be true for you. Your beliefs and understandings may possess limited insight. Lacking  true comprehension to the depths of forgiveness. Instead of remaining upset and frustrated from those past upsetting feelings, you can learn from my experience.

     I have had to learn a lot about forgiveness during my time. From my experience I’ve learned  three reasons why people struggle with forgiveness. However, before I dive deeper into the three reasons, allow me to discuss some of the myths and challenges surrounding forgiveness.

    Myths:What Forgiveness is NOT

    Forgiveness is not forgetting; it is not condoning, it is not absolution, and it is not a clear cut, one time decision. Forgiveness is much more than you may think. Forgiveness is the mechanism that frees us from the binding of a particular experience; it enables us to feel permitted to release feelings that once held us captive. 

    Through forgiveness you can free yourself from all the emotional energy you’ve once carried for years. It does not mean that what happened to you was okay, but what it does mean is you don’t have to carry the negative emotional energy associated with the experience any longer.

     Forgiveness is NOT about accepting an apology, to later throw it back in someone’s face out of spite. Forgiveness is NOT lying to yourself that you no longer care. Forgiveness is NOT universal, it will look a bit different for everyone. 

    Let’s take a look into the challenges with forgiveness. 

    Challenges with Forgiveness

    • You still feel the pain from the hurt that was caused 
    • You have never experienced the feeling of being forgiven 
    • You haven’t come to terms with your true feelings
    • You believe there is no upside to forgiveness

    Whatever the reason for your struggle with forgiveness, if we continue to hold on to and harbor old feelings of hurt and pain I can assure, you will be the main person affected by this energy i.e. (anger, frustration, anxiety, lacking trust, hindrance on future relationships etc). 

    My personal experience with forgiveness has taught me that the power lies in your ability to release yourself from the emotional pain of the past, and the pain that has been transferred into your present situation. What I also learned from this experience was, there are many reasons for holding onto grudges and lacking forgiveness, but there were a few that overlapped.

    Three Reasons People Struggling With Forgiveness

    Denial: We attempt to down-play the impact or importance of painful past experiences. We bury our thoughts and feelings about these experiences believing this will also bury the pain. When this happens we are rejecting the present moment and our true feelings. This negative feeling, if it continues to go unchecked can lead to resentment and other harmful emotions. A tool that can be very helpful is journaling; it will allow for the opportunity to identify how you feel and process your emotions. 

    Self-Blame: We try to explain what happened to us by assuming we were somehow responsible for the injuries and injustices we suffered. When doing this, we can negatively affect our self-esteem as we work overtime to convince ourselves; we would not have been hurt if we did things differently. When there is a struggle with self-blame therein lies a need for self-forgiveness. 

    Victim: We recognize that we did not deserve or ask for the hurt we received. We are well aware of how we were damaged by painful past experiences. So much so that we wallow in self-pity, expect little of ourselves, or lash out at anyone and everyone who “crosses us”. When we fall into the victim category it is extremely important to develop the tools to process your emotions. When this happens it will allow you to work from victim to victorious. 

    Please remember that forgiveness is a process of healing. How will you begin your healing process of forgiveness?

     If you are someone who struggles with forgiveness, and no longer want to avoid your emotional pain there is help. Reach out to Hope Avenue Counseling Services. There is someone who will help you develop the tools to effectively manage your emotions.

    Call or email

     (909)295-5295  

    acarson@hopeavenuecounseling.com

     

    Filed Under: Uncategorized

    Mindfulness

    January 24, 2020

    One of the most loosely used terms has certainly been “mindfulness”. You hear the concept of mindfulness mentioned across many different sectors of life, from buddhist monks to business and thought leaders. Mindfulness has definitely gained a lot of attention as of recent years, and for good reason. It’s recent popularity is largely due to […]

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    Mindfulness

    One of the most loosely used terms has certainly been “mindfulness”. You hear the concept of mindfulness mentioned across many different sectors of life, from buddhist monks to business and thought leaders. Mindfulness has definitely gained a lot of attention as of recent years, and for good reason.

    It’s recent popularity is largely due to the potential benefits that mindfulness provides across many areas within a person’s life. Benefits in areas like dealing with stress and overwhelm to alleviating symptoms of depression and trauma. Whatever the issue, mindfulness teaches us to have a better relationship with ourselves and the world around us.

    The moment you begin to comprehend the concept of mindfulness is the moment your life begins to change. If you are new to hearing the term of mindfulness, I’m sure by now you might be wondering what is this mindfulness thing I speak of?

    What is mindfulness?

    Mindfulness is a state of non judgemental awareness of what’s happening in the present moment. The goal is to have a heightened awareness of the current moment, being fully engaged in whatever is happening in the now. Most people are busy focusing their attention on the past or the future, missing whatever may be unfolding right in front of them. “When we focus on the past that is depression. When we focus on the future that is anxiety. The power is in our ability to be strongly rooted in the now.” During a state of mindfulness you will begin to notice your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations as they happen. The goal is to merely become aware of the thoughts, feelings, and sensations; not to change or label them.

    What are the components of mindfulness?

    There are two central components to in mindfulness, awareness and acceptance. Mindfulness is a synonym for consciousness, which is your ability to be aware or focus. Awareness is vital in mindfulness; awareness of what is happening in any given moment. During a state of mindfulness you will notice your thoughts, feelings, and sensations as they happen. The goal isn’t to clear your mind, the goal is to become aware of your thoughts rather than getting lost in your thoughts.

    The other component to mindfulness is acceptance. In mindfulness, acceptance is used as a barrier of non judgemental energy. It acts as a filter to accept your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations without labeling them. For example, if you notice a feeling of worry, simply state to yourself. “I notice that I’m feeling worried.” There’s no need to judge or change the feeling.

    How can mindfulness help me?

    How can mindfulness help me? That is a great question. There are many people who lack awareness of what needs changing in their lives. Mindfulness is the tool that allows you to identify the problem. Think of it like a flashlight; it can be used as a guide to shine the light onto your patterns and routines, both healthy and unhealthy. Identifying the problem is just the start, mindfulness will also help to manage the problem by first managing your emotions. In order to manage the things going on in your external world, you must first be able to manage your internal world.

    If you are someone who is struggling emotionally, and no longer want to avoid your emotional pain there is help. Reach out to Hope Avenue Counseling Services there is someone who will help you develop the tools to effectively manage your emotions.

    Call or email
    (909)295-5295
    acarson@hopeavenuecounseling.com

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